Take It with a Grain of Salt
Unwanted advice can be annoying and often does more harm than good. In this article, I’m going to explain why people advise without being asked, and how to deal with them.
To take a statement or advice with ‘a grain of salt’ (or ‘a pinch of salt’) means to accept it while maintaining a degree of skepticism about its truth.
I don’t understand why people keep giving me unwanted advice. If I didn’t ask, I’d probably not bothered to listen anyhow.
A power play
It’s not about you, it’s about them.
Study has shown that people are motivated to provide unsolicited advice to others because it makes them feel more powerful.
Giving advice increased a sense of power, especially for those who were interested in feeling more powerful. The ability to influence the actions of others might give them this feeling.
People who give unsolicited advice fulfill their needs without realizing who receives them can often feel stressed, offended, or simply annoyed.
Given their motives, accepting all unasked advice is probably not a good idea.
Protect yourself
Now you might argue that sometimes people do have pure motives and truly want to help. In that case, here’s what I do to filter out the advice so it doesn’t stress me out.
- Forming my thought by gathering sufficient information, by doing this I can tell myself what is the best possible action considering all the pros and cons.
- Having my principles, I only listen to people who have gone through what I am facing and have skin in the game.
- Setting boundaries, if I do not explicitly ask for the advice, I do not want it, so do not give it.
You must also take my advice with filters. Your mental health matters. Don’t feel bad for rejecting unwanted advice.
